


yeehaw cult

by trampled_flowers



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: :), Allura & Lance (Voltron) Friendship, Allura & Lance (Voltron) are Cousins, Allura & Shay are besties, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Aromantic Asexual Pidge | Katie Holt, Bilingual Lance (Voltron), Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Bisexual Matt Holt, Chatting & Messaging, Disney References, Don't @ Me, Don't Read This, Eventual Keith/Lance (Voltron), Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Gay Keith (Voltron), High School Musical References, Homoromantic Matt Holt, How Do I Tag, Hunk (Voltron) is so Pure, Keith & Shiro (Voltron) are Adoptive Siblings, Lesbian Allura (Voltron), Light Angst, Love them, Minor Original Character(s), Multi, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pansexual Shiro (Voltron), Past Lance/Nyma (Voltron) - Freeform, Slow Burn, Texting, hopefully, lance loves hsm dont @ me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-06-26 05:21:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 7,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15656598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trampled_flowers/pseuds/trampled_flowers
Summary: (Original title; Never Gonna Give You Up)Keef is online.ThingTwo: DO YOU KNOW THE MULLET MANThingOne: THE MULLET MAN?ThingTwo: THE MULLET MANLancelot: DO YOU KNOW THE MULLET MAN WHO LIVES ON MULLET LANEThingOne: YES I KNOW THE MULLET MANThingTwo: THE MULLET MANLancelot: THE MULLET MANThingOne: YES I KNOW THE MULLET MAN THAT LIVES ON MULLET LANE





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> -Edited on the 2/10/18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SpaceDad has added imherequeerandliveinexistentialfear to The Squad.  
> Pidgeotto has added MattTheLivingMeme to The Squad.  
> imherequeerandliveinexistentialfear: sHIRO  
> SpaceDad: Yes?  
> imherequeerandliveinexistentialfear: why on earth is your name spacedad  
> Pidgeotto: dont you mean  
> Pidgeotto: why in space  
> imherequeerandliveinexistentialfear: no pidge  
> Lancelot: hey are you a thief?  
> Keith: wtf no  
> Pure: LANCE NO  
> PrincessAllura: LANCE YES :D  
> Pidgeotto: THIS WILL BE GOOD  
> SpaceDad: IS THIS GOING WHERE I THINK ITS GOING  
> Keith: what  
> Lancelot: cause youve already stolen my heart  
> SpaceDad: Knew it. Don’t flirt with Keith.  
> imherequeerandliveinexistentialfear: uh lance  
> imherequeerandliveinexistentialfear: i feel the need to let you know that  
> Lancelot: omfg omfg whoops  
> Lancelot: didnt know you were keith…  
> Lancelot: someone change the subject

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Edited on 2/10/18

**LanceLanceRevolution** has created a group chat.

**LanceLanceRevolution** has added  **HunkyDory** ,  **Pidgeon** ,  **ZeroToShiro** and  **Alluring** .

**Lance** has renamed chat to  **Peasants ft. Lance**

**Pidgeon:** im not peasant

**Pidgeon:** if anything im a pheasant

**LanceLanceRevolution:** fine

**LanceLanceRevolution** has renamed  **Peasants ft. Lance** to  **Peasants and a pheasant ft. Lance**

**ZeroToShiro:** What is this?

**Pidgeon** has changed  **ZeroToShiro** ’s name to  **SpaceDad** .

**SpaceDad:** I slightly understand the dad part but space??

**Pidgeon:** has changed  **Pidgeon** ’s name to  **Pidgeotto** .

**Pidgeotto:** because

**Pidgeotto:** youre an alien

**SpaceDad:** how???

**Pidgeotto:** um

**Pidgeotto:** idk i just wanted to spice up your dad title

**LanceLanceRevolution:** where are the others

**LanceLanceRevolution:** i swear if theyre just reading this

**HunkyDory:** haha

**LanceLanceRevolution:** oh my god hunk

**SpaceDad:** I mean, Lance, you were kind doing that too

**LanceLanceRevolution:** That’s

**LanceLanceRevolution:** true

**LanceLanceRevolution** has changed  **LanceLanceRevolution** ’s name to  **Lancelot** .

**Lancelot:** wheres allura

**Alluring:** Sorry! I was making myself breakfast

**Lancelot:** oh thats fine

**SpaceDad:** Can I add someone

**Lancelot:** OWO okay

**Lancelot:** someone help i cant think of a good name for hunk

**Alluring:** Pure.

**Lancelot** has changed  **HunkyDory** ’s name to  **Pure** .

**Pure:** <3

**Alluring:** <3

**Pure** has changed  **Alluring** ’s name to  **PrincessAllura** .

**PrincessAllura:** Who’s the peasant now, Lance?

**Lancelot** has renamed  **Peasants and a pheasant ft. Lance** to  **Not all peasants** .

**Pidgeotto** has renamed  **Not all peasants** to  **The Squad** .

**Pidgeotto:** can i also add my brother?

**Lancelot:** sure and what is taking you so long shiro

**SpaceDad:** Keith saw that I was going to add him and tried to steal my phone but I didn’t let him so I ran away. He chased me around our apartment until he grew tired.

**SpaceDad:** Gonna add him now (((:

**SpaceDad** has added  **imherequeerandliveinexistentialfear** to  **The Squad** .

**Pidgeotto** has added  **MattTheLivingMeme** to  **The Squad** .

**imherequeerandliveinexistentialfear:** sHIRO

**SpaceDad:** Yes?

**imherequeerandliveinexistentialfear:** why on earth is your name spacedad

**Pidgeotto:** dont you mean

**Pidgeotto:** why in space

**imherequeerandliveinexistentialfear:** no pidge

**Lancelot:** hey are you a thief?

**Keith:** wtf no

**Pure:** LANCE NO

**PrincessAllura:** LANCE YES :D

**Pidgeotto:** THIS WILL BE GOOD

**SpaceDad:** IS THIS GOING WHERE I THINK ITS GOING

**Keith:** what

**Lancelot:** cause youve already stolen my heart

**SpaceDad:** Knew it. Don’t flirt with Keith.

**imherequeerandliveinexistentialfear:** uh lance

**imherequeerandliveinexistentialfear:** i feel the need to let you know that

**Lancelot:** omfg omfg whoops

**Lancelot:** didnt know you were keith…

**Lancelot:** someone change the subject

**Pidgeotto:** is matt just reading this or is he actually not here

**MattTheLivingMeme:** im here

**MattTheLivingMeme:** i got the notif but i saw that lance was gonna use a pickup line on keith so i decided to watch rather than say anything

**MattTheLivingMeme** : and i laughed so loudly i got strange looks and i still am tbh

**SpaceDad** has changed  **MattTheLivingMeme** ’s name to  **Weeb** .

**Weeb:** wow shiro i know thats you

**Weeb:** we havent talked since yesterday and thats the first thing you say to me? )’: im hurt 

**Weeb:** im your best friend!!

**Pidgeotto:** boyfriend** (:

**Weeb:** shut up pigeon the adults are speaking

**Pidgeotto:** im no pigeon

**Weeb:** [ >Image sent ](https://78.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_maq9l3QW471rhqmjxo1_500.jpg)

**Weeb:** those are your siblings

**Weeb:** youre adopted

**Pidgeotto:** :O

**Weeb:** aNYWAY SHIRO ANSWER ME

**SpaceDad:** Technically, I didn’t say anything, Matt.

**Weeb:** then thats the first thing you texted me??!!?1 >:(

**SpaceDad:** I didn’t text you either. I changed your name to weeb. It’s the truth.

**Pidgeotto:** it is

**Weeb:** what did i say 

**Pidgeotto:** …

**SpaceDad:** Also, you said you were/are getting weird looks? Are you outside in the real world?

**Weeb:** yes

**Pidgeotto:** wow.

**Pidgeotto:** yes yes i know adults speaking >_>

**Weeb:** good pigeon

**Weeb:** im at a new cafe

**Keith:** oh i think i know what one that is, by the beach? Its supposed tyo be good

**Weeb:** smh didnt even say hi but yeah that one and it is

**Weeb:** oh hey can you punch shiro for me?

**Keith:** yeah sure was going to anyway

**Weeb:** thanks

**SpaceDad:** I’m being betrayed.

**Keith:** but by who

**SpaceDad:** …

**SpaceDad:** Good point.

**Pidgeotto:** where did the other three go

**Pidgeotto:** oh right! They dont know matt

**Pidgeotto:** guys come out this is matt, he is my brother and shiros best friend

**PrincessAllura:** Hi! Nice to meet you,Matt. I’m Allura!

**Weeb:** Nice to meet you too, Princess (;

**Pidgeotto:** matt stop you have a boyfriend

**Weeb:** no i dont

**Weeb:** shut up KATIE

**Pidgeotto:** i prefer pigeon

**Pidgeotto:** or pidgeotto

**Lancelot:** hello, matt. ive heard a lot about you. you better not hurt our space dad >:(

**Weeb:** omg shut up i wouldnt want to be your step dad 

**Lancelot:** gASP

**Weeb:** by the way would you like me to comfort you after your flirting failure

**Lancelot:** yes pls

**Weeb:** too bad

**Lancelot:** this is biphobia

**Pure:** Hey, Matt! I’m Hunk! Pidge and Shiro have mentioned you before. Did you really get chased and attacked by a flock of seagulls while walking on your college campus?

**Weeb:** yes

**Weeb:** who told you that

**Lancelot:** shiro

**Weeb:** we’re having a divorce shiro D:<

**SpaceDad:** Don’t encourage Pidge.

**Weeb:** shoot sorry i forgot we’re keeping it a secret

**Weeb:** sorry bb <3

**Pidgeotto:** wHaT ;O

**Keith:** WHAT

**SpaceDad:** Look what you’ve done now, Matt.

**Weeb:** this waitress keeps hitting on me help

**Pidgeotto:** ew

**Weeb:** youre ew

**Lancelot:** 10/10 comeback

**Lancelot** has changed  **Keith** ’s name to  **Mullet** .

**Mullet:** i do not have a mullet

**Lancelot:** yes you do

**Mullet:** shiroooo help me

**Mullet:** shiro i can hear you laughing through the walls

**Pidgeotto:** EXPOSED

**Pure:** I’ve got to go now! Bye, guys <3

**Lancelot:** BYE HUNK <333

**PrincessAllura:** <3 Bye <3

**Pidgeotto:** TTYL <3

**SpaceDad:** Bye, Hunk!

**Weeb:** bye hunk who i just met but i assume is a pure soul <3

**Mullet:** bye

**PrincessAlura:** Shiro, Keith, you need to send hearts to Hunk ):

**SpaceDad:** <3

**Mullet:** do i have to?

**Pure:** You don’t have to, Keith! It’s fine, I don’t really care. <3 Bye everyone once again

**Pure** has gone offline.

**Weeb:** im going to escape this cafe before that girl hits on me again

**Weeb:** im gonna dsraw stuff inthe sand at the beach :O :D

**SpaceDad:** NO DONT THERE ARE KIDS THERE

**Weeb:** wasnt going to do /that/ but thanks for the idea <3

**SpaceDad:** WAIT, NO!

**Pidgeotto:** YES

**Weeb:** byeeeeeee~

**Pidgeotto:** i know that i just said yes but i think he is actually going to do it please stop your boyfriend dad


	2. "Ew humans"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidgeotto: im not sure if i should leave matt home without supervison  
> Weeb: shut up, katie/pigeon/pokemon  
> Pidgeotto: *wipes away tear* you finally understand me  
> Pidgeotto: but im down  
> Weeb: im coming too because im not allowed alone with supervison apparently  
> SpaceDad: I don’t think putting Matt and Lance in the same room would be a good idea…  
> Lancelot: what do you mean  
> Pidgeotto: i personally think its a gr8 idea space dad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the one on one messages, the names are what are saved for the other person for example, Keith is just saved as Keith for Shiro and Shiro is saved as Shiro for Keith so that's their names. Is that confusing? I don't think it is but eh, anyway, read on~  
> -Edited on 2/10/18

**Keith > Shiro**

**Keith:** why

**Shiro:** ???

**Keith:** why did you put me in a group chat with lance

**Shiro:** You need more friends? What does Lance have to do with this though?

**Keith:** shiro, i know youre not the most observant person but im really obvious about it

**Keith:** i think youve realised that i ‘hate’ lance but

**Keith:** i have had a crush on lance since the start of high school

**Shiro:** WHAT?!

**Shiro:** Why did I not know about this?

**Keith:** i thought it was obvious 

**Shiro:** Well, as you said, I’m not the most observant person.

**Shiro:** Keith, do you know how many dates Lance has been on in the past week?

**Shiro:** Too many to count. The same with the amounts of girlfriends and boyfriends he’s had. I don’t want you to get hurt, Keith.

**Keith:** its not like this crush will even go anywhere

**Keith:** as if he would like me

**Shiro:** I know I just implied that I don’t want you to be with Lance, but why wouldn’t he like you? If you really like him then, yes, tell him. See how that goes. But I don’t want to see him hurt you. 

**Keith:** just because hes bi doesnt mean he would like me,,,

**Keith:** how do i leave the group chat

**Shiro:** You don’t. 

**Keith:** welp 

 

**-The Squad**

 

**PrincessAllura:** Hello! Did this chat die?

**Lancelot:** NEVER!

**Pidgeotto:** smh

**Lancelot:** AND WHATS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

**Pidgeotto:** nothing

**Lancelot:** sure

**Lancelot:** aNYWAY

**Lancelot:** who wants to come over to mine for a movie night

**PrincessAllura:** I’M DOWN

**Pure:** Me too!

**Pidgeotto:** im not sure if i should leave matt home without supervison

**Weeb:** shut up, katie/pigeon/pokemon

**Pidgeotto:** *wipes away tear* you finally understand me

**Pidgeotto:** but im down

**Weeb:** im coming too because im not allowed alone with supervison apparently

**SpaceDad:** I don’t think putting Matt and Lance in the same room would be a good idea…

**Lancelot:** what do you mean

**Pidgeotto:** i personally think its a gr8 idea space dad

**PrincessAllura:** I don’t think putting us all in a group chat together was a good idea but here we are anyway.

**SpaceDad:** Just don’t blame me when things get chaotic. Anyway, I’ll come. Can Keith come too?

**Lancelot:** ew no

**Mullet:** no

**SpaceDad:** Lance. Keith.

**Weeb:** why not keefffffff

**Mullet:** because 

**Mullet:** one, no

**Mullet:** two, no

**Mullet:** do i need to go on

**Pidgeotto:** but why dont you want to )))));

**Mullet:** ew humans

**Pidgeotto:** ^

**PrincessAllura:** ^

**Weeb:** ^

**Lancelot:** ^

**SpaceDad:** ^

**Pure:** youre all humans???

**Lancelot:** shh

**Lancelot:** dont think about it

**Mullet:** my species has been assumed

**Pidgeotto:** im like 99% sure that keef is secretly mothman

**Pure:** w h y

**Lancelot:** [ >Video sent. ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shbxUe-S2V8)

**Weeb:** well im 90% sure that hawkmoth is mothman so

**Pidgeotto:** …

**Pidgeotto:** you watch miraculous ladybug?

**Weeb:** yes

**Pidgeotto:** huh

**Pidgeotto:** you and lance are more similar than i thought

**Lancelot:** MATT DO YOU SHIP MARC AND NATHANIEL

**Weeb:** yES


	3. "You All Meme So Much To Me"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PrincessAllura: tis only a smol child  
> PrincessAllura: she has nu money  
> Lancelot: allura not using proper spelling and capitalisation? its more likely than you think  
> PrincessAllura: Shhhhhhh  
> PrincessAllura: Tell no one….  
> Pidgeotto: i don’t know. i know you told me.. but i had a very long day.. i am small and have no money.. so you can imagine the stress i’m under  
> Mullet: whos to say  
> Pidgeotto: anyway, whoever buys me food and brings it to me will get a dollar  
> Lancelot: i thought you had no money  
> Pidgeotto: i only have one dollar  
> Pidgeotto: its my life savings )’:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Edited on 2/10/18

**Lancelot:** why is a blt called a blt

**Lancelot:** like

**Lancelot:** why that ordering

**Lancelot:** why not tlb lbt tbl ltb btl 

**Lancelot:** is it bc of the ordering

**Lancelot:** because i normally put the lettuce first then the bacon then tomatoes

**Lancelot:** so that would be lbt

**Lancelot:** in the bread of course

**Lancelot:** wait where is the bread in blt

**Lancelot:** ...nvm

**Lancelot:** do other people order it deifferently

**Lancelot:** like do people put bacon on first

**Lancelot:** weirdos 

**Lancelot:** but lets be honest

**Lancelot:** tomato normally always goes last

**Lancelot:** why isnt tomato pronounced to-mah-to

**Lancelot:** bc thats how its spelt

**Mullet:** stop making me hungry

**Lancelot:** i was gonna stop bc im making myself hungry and i cant cook

**Lancelot:** but

**Lancelot:** since you said that ill keep going

**Mullet:** ugh

**Lancelot:** speaking of the pronunciation oif tomato

**Lancelot:** potato makes more sense but

**Lancelot:** most two letter words ending with o, aka like only to, makes a different sound to po in potato

**Mullet:** are you suggesting it to be poo-tah-to

**Lancelot:** oh

**Lancelot:** yknow i prefer the way it is now

**Lancelot:** anyway keith

**Lancelot:** you cominh to my movie night

**Mullet:** depends

**Mullet:** when is it?

**Lancelot:** saturday 

**Lancelot:** from like 6 or 7pm to like 12pm on sunday

**Mullet:** uh maybe then

**Lancelot:** ugh

**Mullet:** you could like, idk, uninvite me if you dont want me to come yknow

**Lancelot:** no its cool,,

**Pidgeotto** is online.

**Pidgeotto:** i was about to get triggered at whoever was spamming the chat but its you 2 so its fine (:

**Mullet:** what is that even supposed to mean???

**Pidgeotto:** you know ((((((((((((((((((((((((:

**Mullet:** …

**Mullet:** yeah im gonna go

**Pidgeotto:** and do what

**Pidgeotto:** you dont have a life

**Mullet:** i mean

**Mullet:** youre not wrong 

**Pidgeotto:** im hungry

**Lancelot:** buy ur own food

**Mullet:** not my problem

**Pidgeotto:** meanies

**Mullet:** im wounded

**PrincessAllura** is online.

**PrincessAllura:** tis only a smol child

**PrincessAllura:** she has nu money

**Lancelot:** allura not using proper spelling and capitalisation? its more likely than you think 

**PrincessAllura:** Shhhhhhh

**PrincessAllura:** Tell no one….

**Pidgeotto:** i don’t know. i know you told me.. but i had a very long day.. i am small and have no money.. so you can imagine the stress i’m under

**Mullet:** whos to say

**Pidgeotto:** anyway, whoever buys me food and brings it to me will get a dollar

**Lancelot:** i thought you had no money

**Pidgeotto:** i only have one dollar

**Pidgeotto:** its my life savings )’:

**SpaceDad** is online.

**Weeb** is online.

**Lancelot** has changed  **SpaceDad** ’s name to  **ParentalUnit** .

**Weeb:** what an absolute unit. 

**ParentalUnit** has changed  **Weeb** ’s name to  **ThingOne** .

**ParentalUnit** has changed  **Pidgeotto** ’s name to  **ThingTwo** .

**ThingTwo:** are you comparing me to that…. Thing

**ParentalUnit:** sorry

**ParentalUnit:** im giving you too much credit

**Lancelot:** not my space dad

**ParentalUnit:** losjhbdkaszmhbfk

**ParentalUnit:** Matt stole my phone.

**ThingTwo:** oh so thats where he went

**ThingTwo:** are you sure youre just hanging out  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Mullet:** they are

**Mullet:** but theyre pretty close to each other

**Mullet:** not cuddling yet though

**Mullet:** theyre watching a movie and got annoyed at the notifs

**PrincessAllura:** Just turn them off

**PrincessAllura:** We wouldn’t want to disturb you guys (;

**ThingOne** is offline.

**ParentalUnit** is offline.

**ThingTwo:** keef you need to give us updates on them

**Mullet:** i pretended to leave by shutting the door and making footsteps and almost immediately matt snuggled against shiro

**Mullet:** i wouldnt be surprised if they are actually dating tbh

**ThingTwo:** mhm

**PrincessAllura:** I’m going to now (: bye

**ThingTwo:** bye allura ty for defending my poor and smol self

**Mullet:** bye allura

**Lancelot:** bye! 

**PrincessAllura:** youre welcome pidgee :D

**PrincessAllura** is offline.

**ThingTwo:** and sir lancelot reutrns

**Lancelot:** uh sorry i zoned out

**Lancelot:** is shatt canon

**ThingTwo:** psh shatt

**ThingTwo:** and maybe? We dont know

**Lancelot:** ik its just you two here but this is to everyone in this group chat,,,

**Lancelot:** you all meme so much to me <3

**Mullet** is offline.

**Lancelot:** smh didnt even say bye 

**ThingTwo** is offline.

**Lancelot:** i just stole so many fences D’:

**Lancelot** is offline.

**Pure** is online.

**Pure:** ;o Did I miss everyone? ;(

**Pure:** aw :(

**Pure** is offline.


	4. "Calm Down, Edgelords"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ThingTwo: ive only known shay for like  
> ThingTwo; a minute or something  
> ThingTwo: but if anything were to happen to her  
> ThingTwo: i would kill everyone in the room then myself  
> Shay: Is that a compliment?  
> ThingTwo: yes.  
> Shay: oh  
> Shay: Thank you?

**Lancelot:** ive done a lott of dumb stuff,,,,

**PrincessAllura:** I’ve witnessed that dumb stuff.

**ThingTwo:** ive recorded the dumb stuff

**Pure:** I’ve joined in with the dumb stuff

**ParentalUnit:** I’VE TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!

**PrincessAllura:** Anyway, what were you going to say, Lance?

**Lancelot:** brb getting new friends

**Pure:** ;C

**ThingTwo:** look what youve done lance

**Lancelot:** im sorry hunk youre a gr8 friend <3

**Lancelot:** i cant saythe same for the others though

**Pure:** <3

**Pure:** Do you guys mind if I add someone?

**Lancelot:** of course

**Pure** has added  **Shay** to  **The Squad** .

**Shay:** Hi!

**PrincessAllura:** Oh, hey, Shay!

**Shay:** Hey Allura!!

**Pure:** I didn’t know you two know each other! :D

**PrincessAllura:** Her family’s jewelry is next door to the clothing store I work at at the mall so we run into each other often

**Shay:** Have you made any moves on that girl yet Allura ((((;

**Lancelot:** whomst

**PrincessAllura:** shshshshshshshhshs

**ThingTwo:** oh? (((:

**ThingTwo:** please share allura

**PrincessAllura:** tHERES NO GIRL

**Shay:** Since Alluras not going to share I will

**ThingTwo:** please do

**PrincessAllura:** Please don’t, Shae ):

**Shay:** Okay

**Shay:** Sorry Allura ):

**PrincessAllura:** It’s fine (:

**Shay:** (:

**ThingTwo:** ive only known shay for like

**ThingTwo;** a minute or something

**ThingTwo:** but if anything were to happen to her

**ThingTwo:** i would kill everyone in the room then myself

**Shay:** Is that a compliment?

**ThingTwo:** yes.

**Shay:** oh

**Shay:** Thank you?

**Lancelot:** did shiro and hunk disappear

**ParentalUnit:** Matt’s being Matt.

**Pure:** I have no excuse

**ThingTwo:** shiro matt has been at your place 90vpercentbof the time (;

**ParentalUnit:** We’re best friends??

**Mullet** is online.

**Mullet:** sounds fake but ok

**ParentalUnit:** Did you come on JUST to say that?

**Mullet:** i mean

**Mullet:** kind of yeah

**ThingOne** is online.

**PrincessAllura:** I READ THAT AS ONE THING AND NOW I HAVE THE 1D SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD

**Lancelot:** IVE TRIED PLAYING IT COOL

**ThingOne:** BUT WHEN IM LOOKING AT YOU

**Lancelot:** I CANT EVER BE BRAVE

**ThingOne:** CAUSE YOU MAKE MY HEART RACE

**Lancelot:** SHOT ME OUT OF THE SKY

**ThingOne:** YOURE MY KRYPTONITE 

**Lancelot:** YOU KEEP MAKING ME WEAK

**ThingOne:** YEAH FROZEN AND CAN BREATHE

**ThingTwo:** they be talkin bout the broganes

**PrincessAllura:** brogaynes* but true

**Lancelot:** sHUT UP

**ThingOne:** sHUT UP

**Pure:** They’re so in sync???

**Pure:** Are they the same person?

**ThingTwo:** wouldnt be surprised

**ThingTwo:** both living memes, reference vines daily, watch miraculous, listen to 1d, have crushes on the brogaynes, in denial about said crushes

**ParentalUnit** is offline.

**Mullet** is offline.

**Lancelot:** fAKe nEWs

**ThingOne:** exAcTly

**Lancelot:** anyway

**Lancelot:** SOMETHNGS GOTTA GIVE NOW

**ThingOne:** CAUSE IM DYING JUST TO MAKE YOU SEE

**Lancelot:** THAT I NEED YOU HERE WITH ME NOW

**ThingOne:** CAUSE YOUVE GOT THAT ONE THING

**Lancelot:** SO GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT OF MY HEAD

**ThingOne:** AND FALL INTO MY ARMS INSTEAD

**Pure:** I’m going to stop you both there,,,

**Shay:** My shift starts soon bye guys!!!

**Pure:** Bye!! <3

**PrincessAllura:** I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE A SHIP

**PrincessAllura:** And bye, Shay!! :D

**ThingTwo:** SAME ALLURA AND BYE PRECIOUS BEAN NUMBER TWO 

**Lancelot:** YES ALLURA 

**Lancelot:** bye shay!

**Shay** is offline.

**Pure** is offline.

**Lancelot:** so,,, hunay

**PrincessAllura:** Such a pure ship

**PrincessAllura:** So sweet

**ThingTwo:** sweet like,,

**ThingTwo:** hunay?? (((‘:

**Lancelot:** im crying,,

**Mullet:** dont cry

**Mullet:** craft

**Lancelot:** was that a dan and phill reference

**Lancelot:** quaking but anyway

**Lancelot:** where did matt go

**ThingTwo:** hes with shirp remember

**Lancelot:** shirp omg

**Lancelot:** and tru yh

**PrincessAllura:** My shift also starts soon

**Lancelot:** does this girl work with you

**PrincessAllura:** nO

**PrincessAllura:** I MEAN WHAT GIRL??

**Lancelot:** both sound fake but yh okeay

**PrincessAllura** is offline.

**ThingTwo:** and then there were two

**Mullet** is online.

**Mullet** has changed  **Mullet** ’s name to  **Keith** .

**Pidge** has changed  **Keith** ’s name to  **Keef** .

**Keef:** better than mullet

**Lancelot:** what disney characters do you two relate to

**Keef:** i dont know and i dont care

**Lancelot:** i think youd be mulan

**Lancelot:** no explanation

**ThingTwo:** i see that tho

**ThingTwo:** i relate to belle bc she loves books and loves people for their souls

**Lancelot:** sounds fake but okay

**Lancelot:** i relate to tinkerbell bc she needs attention or she dies

**Keef:** yeah that soubnds like you

**Lancelot:** what about drinks? id be be cherry vanilla coke

**Keef:** bleach

**ThingTwo:** sewage

**Lancelot:** calm down edgelords 

**ThingTwo** is offline.

**Lancelot:** and then there were two

**Lancelot:** agian

**Keef:** again*

**Lancelot:** dont correct me

**Keef:** dont be wrong

**Lancelot:** you have no place to correct me

**Keef:** k

**Lancelot:** i like taht when im in a sueprmakret and i see people buting eggs because they always pickj up the carten and open it like its a metal case full of cash involving ad rug deal and theyre confirming its money

**Lancelot:** “dont bother counting it, its all tehre. 12” then they pick one up and inspect it  like i”yeahm its a grade a alright.. the real deal”

**Keef:** the amount of errors in that.

**Keef:** and people are checking thenm to see if theres any cracked you walnut

**Lancelot:** one, ik that tyvm

**Lancelot:** two, them* ((:

**Keef:** yeah i kind oif deserved that

**Lancelot:** of*

**Keef** is offline.

**Lancelot:** and then there was one

**Lancelot** is offline.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Edited on the 2/10/18


	5. "We're PRACTICALLY Siblings"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ThingOne: shrek or the bee movie  
> ParentalUnit: No.  
> PrincessAllura: No.  
> Pure: No.  
> Keef: No,  
> Shay: I’ve never seen either of them.  
> PrincessAllura: You lucky soul.  
> Shay: Are they that bad? I’ve heard Shrek is a cute movie not that much about The Bee Movie though.  
> Pure: They’re….  
> Lancelot: Art  
> ThingOne: beautiful  
> Pure: ...Memes.  
> Lancelot: You’re not /wrong/  
> Shay: Oh  
> Shay: Yeah… No.  
> ThingTwo: im not opposed  
> Keef: course youre not

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really have anything in mind for where they live. it's probably not going to be included so I don't think it matters but I'm going to be using the spellings for some words that I use such as "colour" "centre" "apologise" and stuff like that. Just thought I'd inform you on that.  
> -Edited on the 2/10/18

**razzledazzle > aliteralgoddess**

**razzledazzle:** so

**razzledazzle:** whos this girl (‘:

**aliteralgoddess:** NO ONE

**razzledazzle:** come on allura

**razzledazzle:** we’re siblings

**aliteralgoddess:** We’re cousins.

**razzledazzle:** we’re PRACTICALLY siblings

**aliteralgoddess:** ,,,

**aliteralgoddess:** k

**razzledazzle:** yAY

**aliteralgoddess:** So, she’s really pretty and works in the same shop in the mall as me

**aliteralgoddess:** She’s nice and very sweet

**aliteralgoddess:** She has long silky blond hair that she always does in two insanely adorable ponytails 

**aliteralgoddess:** Her eyes are a grey-ish blue colour but she wears these violet contacts but she looks good without them

**razzledazzle:** whats her name

**aliteralgoddess:** Nyma

**razzledazzle:** mkay

**razzledazzle:** im going to assume since nymas not a common name

**razzledazzle:** i think i know her

**aliteralgoddess:** You do? How?

**razzledazzle:** we used to date,,,

**aliteralgoddess:** oH

**aliteralgoddess:** Is she bad news or something?

**razzledazzle:** nonono

**razzledazzle:** she just kinda

**razzledazzle:** led me on i guess

**aliteralgoddess:** I will fight.

**razzledazzle:** nonono

**razzledazzle:** you like her dont you?

**razzledazzle:** i dont really care about that anyway

**razzledazzle:** im over it

**aliteralgoddess:** oh

**razzledazzle:** but if she hurts you then its ME who will fight

**aliteralgoddess:** <3

**razzledazzle:** <3

 

**-The Squad**

 

**Lancelot:** so movie night? Everybody in?

**ThingTwo:** yE

**Pure:** Of course ^-^

**PrincessAllura:** I mean, duh

**ThingOne:** what movie is it?

**Lancelot:** uh

**Lancelot:** didnt think bout that

**ThingOne:** well im in anyway 

**ThingOne:** but great planning 10/10

**Shay:** Am I invited?

**Lancelot:** of course!

**Shay:** Yay! :D

**ParentalUnit:** I’m in.

**Keef:** sure

**Lancelot:** cool

**Lancelot:** anyone have any movie suggestions

**PrincessAllura:** Beauty and the Beast?

**Lancelot:** allura weve both seen that a million times

**PrincessAllura:** It’s my favourite ):

**Lancelot:** i know that

**PrincessAllura:** Can we watch a Disney movie though?

**Lancelot:** mk

**Lancelot:** any suggestions?

**ThingTwo:** big hero six?

**ThingOne:** okay i have two suggestions but theyre not disney

**ThingOne:** theyre dreamworks

**Lancelot:** what are they

**ThingOne:** shrek or the bee movie

**ParentalUnit:** No.

**PrincessAllura:** No.

**Pure:** No.

**Keef:** No,

**Shay:** I’ve never seen either of them.

**PrincessAllura:** You lucky soul.

**Shay:** Are they that bad? I’ve heard Shrek is a cute movie not that much about The Bee Movie though.

**Pure:** They’re….

**Lancelot:** Art

**ThingOne:** beautiful

**Pure:** ...Memes.

**Lancelot:** You’re not /wrong/

**Shay:** Oh

**Shay:** Yeah… No.

**ThingTwo:** im not opposed

**Keef:** course youre not

**Pure:** I have a suggestion

**Pure:** What about Wreck-It Ralph?

**Shay:** I love that movie!

**PrincessAllura:** Same c:

**ParentalUnit:** I’m fine with that.

**ThingTwo:** whatever that kings name is, hes lit

**ThingTwo:** so sure

**ThingOne:** mhm im fine with that

**Keef:** same

**Lancelot:** its settled then!


	6. "NO SHIP, SHERLOCK"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you guys have any ships?” asked Allura, during the movie.
> 
> “Ralph and Felix, but let me explain it.” said Pidge. “Ahem. Felix liked Ralph and Calhoun and is confused meanwhile Ralph is a strong independent man who don’t need nobody.”
> 
> “Please write a fanfiction.” said Shay after a second of silence.
> 
> “Nah, that involves effort.” Pidge replied. “Oh! Oh! And, Ralph is most definitely Vanellope's older brother figure or whatever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> iM SO SORRY ABOUT THE WAIT I HAVE NO EXCUSE I WAS PROCRASTINATING ABOUT THIS SINCE IM NOT TOO CONFIDENT ABOUT MY WRITING  
> LIKE AT ALL  
> IM PROBABLY NOT GOING TO DO ANY IRL/LIT PARTS IN THIS BECAUSE ITS TOO STRESSFUL TO ME, SORRY ABOUT THAT  
> -Edited on the 2/10/18

Lance sat on the couch, tapping his foot impatiently on the carpet floor as he waited for the last two people to arrive. Hunk and Shay were the first there and arrived together. Lance raised an eyebrow and smirked at his best friend and both Hunk and Shay’s faces went red. Hunk flusteredly explained that they just bumped into each other on the way.

Pidge and Matt were the next to arrive, nothing special besides the fact that Matt was wearing a T-rex suit. Allura arrived next and jumped when she sat the Matt in the T-rex costume on the couch, who turned his head making Lance roar with laughter and once he managed to stop, he also teased Allura for not bringing Nyma.

Then the six waited for the Shiro and Keith to arrive. Lance was interrupted from his thoughts by the ringing of his doorbell. Instantly, Lance sprung up and hastily dashed towards the door, opening it to reveal Shiro and Keith. 

“Hey, Lance. Sorry for being late.  _ Someone, _ ” Shiro glanced at Keith and emphasised on something. “Was being stubborn.”

Keith rolled his eyes at Shiro and stuffed his hands into his red hoodie’s pockets and stared down at the ground broodily.

“No worries. Come on in,” Lance chuckled and moved aside to let the late arrivers in. Just as the two walked in, Matt jumped out in front of them in an attempt to scare them but only getting a small jump from Keith.

“Hi, Matt.” said Shiro, unfazed.

“Hey,” Matt replied and you could practically hear the pout in his voice.

The eight of them all got set up to watch  _ Wreck-It Ralph  _ in Lance’s living room, which quickly returned to its normal state of cushions and blankets on the carpet caused by Lance’s younger family members, or in this case, Pidge, Matt and Allura, making Lance’s effort to tidy the room up for the night a waste. 

Pidge and Allura were lying on the ground with dozens of pillows and blankets while they feasted on the bowl of popcorn Lance had made, leaving the bowl with half as much as it had when Lance made it when the movie started.

Matt had taken off the T-rex costume so he could be able to actually see the movie, much to his disappointment, and had left it on the ground next to the chair he sat on. Well, the chair that Shiro sat on. Shiro had taken a seat on a single person armchair and once Matt had taken off his T-rex costume, all the seats were taken and he didn’t want to sit on the floor so he just sat on Shiro, who tried to argue at first but then stopped once he realised it was pointless.

Shay sat on one end of the couch and had managed to steal a blanket from Allura, who hissed at Shay, and wrapped it around herself and Hunk. Hunk was, of course, next to Shay and his face was so hot that he felt like he could explode. With Shay resting her head on his shoulder and sharing the blanket with him, Hunk was obviously blushing.

Next to Hunk sat Lance who had his blanket that both Allura and Pidge had tried to take from him. Under the blanket, Lance was (not so) secretly eating gummy bears that Hunk was trying to steal only to have his hand slapped back by Lance, who was not known to be overprotective of his food, he did have a big family so he was used to it but now that his family was out doing something that he managed to get out of, he didn’t want to have to share his food like he always did. But he did eventually give Hunk some if the gummy bears.

Keith sat at the end of the couch, next to Lance and was trying his best to farthest away from him which made him squished up against the arm of the cough and only leaving a small gap between Lance and him. Keith had wanted to sit on the ground so he could be farther away from Lance but said boy had persisted that Keith was to sit on the couch next to him for some reason. Keith had rolled his eyes and agreed reluctantly.

Once the movie started and Lance was distracted, Keith tried to steal one of Lance’s gummy bears but Lance, without removing his eyes from the screen, slapping Keith’s hand away.

 

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

 

“Is he like the snail Turbo?” asked Lance when, in the movie, Felix was explaining the meaning of the term going turbo to Calhoun.

“I mean, duh.” Pidge responded as she picked a seed from her and Allura’s nearly empty popcorn bowl without taking her eyes off the bright screen.

“Obviously.” agreed Allura as she handed Pidge a handful of sweets she had kept in her pocket to eat during the movie and Pidge accepted them greedily.

“Shush. I’m trying to enjoy this movie, thank you very much.” said Matt, trying to steal one of the lollies Allura had just given Pidge but his hand got slapped away by her. “Ouch!” Matt exclaimed.

“You deserved it, you thief.”

Shiro shushed the two siblings before they could continue and everyone fell silent as the movie carried on.

 

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

 

“Do you guys have any ships?” asked Allura, during the movie.

“Ralph and Felix, but let me explain it.” said Pidge. “Ahem. Felix liked Ralph and Calhoun and is confused meanwhile Ralph is a strong independent man who don’t need nobody.”

“Please write a fanfiction.” said Shay after a second of silence.

“Nah, that involves effort.” Pidge replied. “Oh! Oh! And, Ralph is most definitely Vanellope's older brother figure or whatever.”

Keith started laughing and when Lance heard the angelic sound, his face felt warm. Keith snorted then stopped laughing and covered his nose and mouth in embarrassment.

Once again, everyone was silent after the discussion ended and continued watching the movie. But Lance still couldn’t get over how cute Keith’s laugh was, even though he had heard it before.

 

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

 

“NO SHIP, SHERLOCK!” yelled Lance at the end of the movie when it showed Relix and Calhoun’s wedding. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, sorry about the wait and short chapter. I hope to start posting more often again and I also hope that this was enjoyable and not a let down.


	7. Lance has been dreaming of a true love's kiss.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ThingTwo: DO YOU KNOW THE MULLET MAN  
> ThingOne: THE MULLET MAN?  
> ThingTwo: THE MULLET MAN  
> Lancelot: DO YOU KNOW THE MULLET MAN WHO LIVES ON MULLET LANE  
> ThingOne: YES I KNOW THE MULLET MAN  
> ThingTwo: THE MULLET MAN  
> Lancelot: THE MULLET MAN  
> ThingOne: YES I KNOW THE MULLET MAN THAT LIVES ON MULLET LANE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be editing and renaming previous chapters soon, just so you know. It's the school holidays for me now so hopefully that means more chapters, but my sisters and I are all trying to learn a song to play together since we all play instruments so uh yeah. I don't know how many chapters this will have, I originally planned for it to be short but that's probably not going to happen. I'm really glowing with the flow with this story.

- **The Squad**

**Keef** is online.

**ThingTwo:** DO YOU KNOW THE MULLET MAN

**ThingOne:** THE MULLET MAN?

**ThingTwo:** THE MULLET MAN

**Lancelot:** DO YOU KNOW THE MULLET MAN WHO LIVES ON MULLET LANE

**ThingOne:** YES I KNOW THE MULLET MAN

**ThingTwo:** THE MULLET MAN

**Lancelot:** THE MULLET MAN

**ThingOne:** YES I KNOW THE MULLET MAN THAT LIVES ON MULLET LANE

**ThingOne:** i nearly typed mullet lance (:

**ThingTwo:** omg wow i wish you did thats beautiful

**ThingOne:** ik i am

**ThingTwo:** blocked and reported

**Keef:** i came out to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked right now

**Keef:** how does one write a book review,,,

**ParentalUnit:** You don’t.

**Keef:** are you encouraging me to not do my school work?? 

**ThingTwo:** *le gasp* dAD 

**ParentalUnit** is offline.

**ThingTwo** has changed  **Keef** ’s name to  **TheMulletMan** .

**TheMulletMan:** please,,

**TheMulletMan:** no

**ThingTwo:** please yes

**ThingTwo:** now go to your school work mister mullet

**TheMulletMan:** but dad told me not to (‘:

**TheMulletMan:** gotta listen to him

**ThingOne:** theres a first time for everything

**TheMulletMan:** sHUSH

**TheMulletMan:** anyway……………….

**TheMulletMan:** where did lance go

**ThingTwo:** yh where is your boyfriend

**TheMulletMan:** wtf pidge

**TheMulletMan:** hes not my boyfriend where did you even get the idea

**TheMulletMan:** we are/were rivals or whatever

**ThingTwo:** are you sure about that

**ThingOne:** you know what they say

**ThingOne:** if it looks like a duck and it quacks like a duck

**TheMulletMan:** then its a duck not a boyfriend

**Pure** is online.

**ThingTwo** changed  **Pure** ’s name to  **BeautifulCinnamonRoll** .

**BeautifulCinnamonRoll:** quack

**ThingOne:** what an entrance

**PrincessAllura** is online.

**PrincessAllura:** we all stan hunk

**ThingTwo:** amen

**ThingOne:** course

**TheMulletMan:** facts

**Lancelot:** too true

**ThingTwo:** lance has returned!!!

**Lancelot:** did y’all miss me

**ThingOne:** y’all

**ThingTwo:** are you keef now

**TheMulletMan:** just bc im from texas doesnt mean i say y’all pidge

**ThingTwo:** yes it does

**ThingTwo:** d=to answer your question lance

**ThingTwo:** no

**Lancelot:** :’(

**Lancelot:** pidge go jump in a well

**ThingTwo:** rather not

**Lancelot:** >:(

**ThingTwo** has changed  **Lancelot** ’s name to  **boyf**

**ThingTwo** has changed  **TheMulletMan** ’s name to  **riends**

**boyf** has changed  **boyf** ’s name to  **BestBi**

**riends** has changed  **reinds** ’s name to  **something**

**ThingTwo:** sigh

**BestBi** has changed  **something** ’s name to  **Keefers**

**Keefers:** im one step closer to killing someone :))

**ThingTwo:** me all the time tbh

**ThingOne:** im off bye 

**ThingOne** is offline.

**ThingTwo:** no one say bye he doesnt deserve love

**BeautifulCinnamonRoll:** im off too bye

**ThingTwo:** bye!!

**Keefers:** bye

**BestBi:** bye!!!!!!!!! <3

**PrincessAllura:** bye hunk!! im off too

**BestBi:** what happened to your grammar and capitalisation allura :OO

**PrincessAllura** is offline.

**BeautifulCinnamonRoll** is offline.

\---

**BestBi:** IVE BEEN DREAMING OF A TRUE LOVES KISS

**BestBi:** AND A PRINCE IM HOPING COMES WITH THIS

**BestBi:** THATS WHAT BRINGS EVER-AFTERINGS SO HAPPY

**PrincessAllura:** AND THAT’S THE REASON WE NEED LIPS SO MUCH

**BestBi:** FOR LIPS ARE THE ONLY THINGS THAT TOUCH

**PrincessAllura:** SO TO SPEND A LIFE OF ENDLESS BLISS JUST FIND WHO YOU LOVE THROUGH TRUE LOVES KISS

**BestBi:** thats such an absolute hecking bop 

**PrincessAllura:** It is

**PrincessAllura:** Lowkey waiting for Shiro to scold you for saying heck

**ParentalUnit:** …

**BestBi:** r u gonna say it or nah dad

**ParentalUnit:** no

**BestBi:** aw

**BestBi:** im v disappointed in you

**BestBi:** anyway

**BestBi:** HOW DOES SHE KNOWWWWWWW YOU LOVE HER

**PrincessAllura:** HOW DOES SHE KNOWWWWW SHE’S YOURS!

**BestBi:** HOW DOES SHE KNOW THAT YOU LOVE HER

**PrincessAllura:** HOW DO YOU SHOW HER YOU LOVE HER

**BestBi:** HOW DOES SHE KNOW THAT YOU REALLY REALLY TRUELY LOVE HER

**Keefers:** you dont

**Keefers:** simple

**BestBi:** :O

**BestBi:** you interrupted us ):

**Keefers:** boo hoo

**BestBi:** dAD

**BestBi:** KEEFS BEING A BULLY

**ParentalUnit:** I’m not doing this.

**Keefers:** are you sure

**ParentalUnit:** .

**ParentalUnit** is offline.

**Keefers:** huh

**ThingTwo:** dad is sick of you guys and your bickering

**ThingOne:** dad is sick of all of us

**Keefers:** obviously not you

**ThingTwo:** oh??? keef do go on

**Keefers:** i shouldnt

**BestBi:** you should

**Keefers:** both shiro and matt will kill me

**ThingOne:** well im going to kill you already so

**PrincessAllura:** I think we all know what Keith’s talking about though ((‘:

**ThingOne:** do you though

**ThingTwo:** yes

**ThingOne** is offline.

**ParentalUnit** is online.

**ParentalUnit:** KEITH

**Keefers:** i regret living

**ParentalUnit:** ..

**ParentalUnit:** same

**BestBi:** same

**ThingTwo:** same

**PrincessAllura:** same

**BestBi:** but keef you better watch out

**ThingTwo:** yOu BeTtEr wAtCh OuT

**ParentalUnit:** Exactly, Keith.

**ParentalUnit** is offline.

**ThingTwo:** can i come over with popcorn to see what goes down

**Keefers** is offline.

**ThingTwo:** guess not


	8. oof x6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BestBi: pidge  
> ThingTwo: what  
> BestBi: ask me what kind of tree i have  
> ThingTwo: no  
> BestBi: pidge ask me what kind of tree i have   
> ThingTwo: no  
> BestBi: just pidge ask me what kind of tree i have  
> ThingTwo: what kind of tree  
> BestBi: /it’s a chris pine/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI I'D SAY I'M NOT DEAD LIKE ALL THE COOL A03 PEOPLE DO BUT LIKE I'M NOT COOL AND I /AM/ DEAD SO... I'M BACK   
> I'm hoping to update more since it's the holidays for me but really I write this for myself with jokes that I find funny, memes, vines, and inside jokes and it makes me happy which is rare so that's why i do it. thank you all the people who read this, i hope you haven't left me and you won't   
> pls  
> +i added one of my ocs but like he's just mentioned and he's not important except he is bc he is a precious boy who i love

**-Tuesday the 18th of December-**

 

**-Groupchat ”The Squad”**

 

**BestBi:** are you guys excited for halloween

**Keefers:** what?

**ThingTwo:** lance celebrates christmas on halloween and references the merry crisis vine and celebrates halloween on christmas/december and sings this is halloween

**Keefers:** understandable have a nice day

**BestBi:** my chris pine trees looks v beautiful rn

**BestBi:** this year its rlly just a chrismas tree but eh chris pines there

**Keefers:** lance stop confusing me pls

**BestBi:** keef being somewhat nice to me and using manners? Its more likely than you think

**BestBi:** my christmas tree has chris pine on the star at the top of the tree and chris hemsworth chris pratt and chris evans are ornaments

**Keefers:** ah

**BestBi:** pidge

**ThingTwo:** what

**BestBi:** ask me what kind of tree i have

**ThingTwo:** no

**BestBi:** pidge ask me what kind of tree i have 

**ThingTwo:** no

**BestBi:** just pidge ask me what kind of tree i have

**ThingTwo:** what kind of tree

**BestBi:** /it’s a chris pine/

**Keefers:** okay then . . .

**ParentalUnit:** Don’t question it.

**Keefers:** i wont thanks dad

**Keefers:** dad can you remove me from this group chat btw thanks

**ParentalUnit:** Go bother your other dad.

**BestBi:** space dad :O

**BestBi:** i’m telling other dad that youre being mean to keefie !!

**BestBi:** mATT

**ThingOne** is online.

**ThingOne** has changed  **ThingOne** ’s name to  **Mathematics** .

**Mathematics:** ugh

**Mathematics:** i’m too young to be a dad

**Mathematics:** keef you cant leave and thats final

**Mathematics:** shiro pls deal with stuff on ur own ik ur tired but so am i

**Mathematics:** and dont be mean to keefie

**Mathematics:** lance pls dont annoy ur dads idc if shiro is being mean to ur bf

**BestBi:** wh

**BestBi:** matt wtf

**Mathematics:** not in my goOD AND PURE AND V WHOLESOME CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER YOU DONT

**BestBi:** ;o omg im so sorry pls dont ban me

**Mathematics:** this is a warning >:(

**Keefers:** what the flamingos 

**BestBi:** i agree

**Mathematics:** keefers u have one more chance !!!!!11

**ThingTwo:** someone change my name

**BestBi** has changed  **ThingTwo's** name to  **Gremlin** .

**Gremlin:** but thats basic

**BestBi:** but im basic

**Keefers:** you are

**BestBi:** thanks xx

**Gremlin:** oOf

**PrincessAllura** is online.

**PrincessAllura:** oof

**Mathematics:** OOF

**BeautifulCinnamonRoll** is online.

**BeautifulCinnamonRoll:** OOf

**Shay** is online.

**Shay:** ooF

**ParentalUnit:** Oof

**Gremlin:** even space dad joined in

**Keefers:** im confused??/

**BestBi:** lol

**Keefers:** did 

**Keefers:** did you seriously just lol

**BestBi:** yes.

**Keefers** is offline.

**Gremlin:** lmao

 

**-Groupchat “The KICK Mission”**

 

**AgentPidge:** who wants to interrogate lance

**AgentMatt:** ??

**AgentPidge:** we know that keef likes lance bc its so obvi but i now think lance likes keef too

**AgentHunk:** Should I talk to Lance?

**AgentPidge:** YES

**AgentPidge:** if that doesnt work then we cant be too obvious but we need allura to try too

**AgentAllura:** Yes, sir!

**AgentShay:** I don’t know Lance too well but I’m sure he does

**AgentPidge:** :D

**AgentHunk:** Should I do it in person or no?

**AgentPidge:** hMM

**AgentPidge:** nah try be cas 

**AgentHunk:** Alright!! Should I message him now?

**AgentPidge:** yes pls hunk

 

**Sunshine > GettingBi**

 

**Sunshine:** Hey, Lance!!

**GettingBi:** hey hunk c:

**Sunshine:** Can I ask you something?

**GettingBi:** ? :o sure? what is it??

**Sunshine:** Do you like anyone at the moment?

**GettingBi:** uh

**GettingBi:** kind offffffffffff

**GettingBi:** why

**Sunshine:** I’m your best friend, I need/want to know these things!!

**Sunshine:** But who is ittttt?!

**GettingBi:** :)))

**Sunshine:** Lanceeeeeeeeeee

**GettingBi:** not telling~

**Sunshine:** :(

**GettingBi:** :(

**Sunshine:** At least tell me one thing about this person!! Like what’s their gender or their hair colour or why you like them or something!! Pleaseeee!

**GettingBi:** fine :c

**GettingBi:** they’re a he 

**Sunshine:** Do I know him?! Like, well?

**GettingBi:** you said one thing

**GettingBi:** aNd YoU gOt ThAT OnE THing

**Sunshine:** Lanceeee! Please!!

**GettingBi:** k u know him ye 

**GettingBi:** and i suppose you know him well

**Sunshine:** Thank you, thank you, thank you! I hope he likes you back, whoever he is!!

**GettingBi:** <3

**Sunshine:** <3

 

**-Groupchat “The KICK Mission”**

 

**AgentHunk:** GUYS!!

**AgentPidge:** WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR US!

**AgentHunk:**  I found out he does ‘kind of’ like someone!

**AgentPidge:** WHO

**AgentHunk:** He wouldn’t tell me :c

**AgentPidge:** :c

**AgentHunk:** BUT

**AgentHunk:** Lance says that they’re a he and that I know him well!

**AgentMatt:** HUNK WHO ARE THE MALES AROUND YOUR AGE AND YOU AND LANCE KNOW WELL

**AgentHunk:** You, Shiro, Keith and some guy I don’t think you know, Callum. That’s all, at least for the people /both/ of us know /well/

**AgentMatt:** ah

**AgentMatt:** well its probs not me or shiro so keith or this callum guy

**AgentPidge:** it could be callum but isnt he dating someone? lance could still be crushing on him tho

**AgentHunk:** yeah

**AgentPidge:** lets hope its keef

**AgentHunk:** It could be someone who I’m forgetting or Lance /thinks/ I know, I don’t know.

**AgentPidge:** ugh at least we know for sure its a boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they could be talking on their own good wholesome and pure christian minecraft server fr
> 
> hi i want there to be someone who they start thinking lance likes instead or keef but who  
> so help me  
> should it be a character from vld, if so whoo  
> should be one of my characters, probs not tho  
> or do one of y'all want to share your character, do whatevs pls comment thx bye


	9. lance is shooketh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GettingBi: my crush is worse than i thought  
> Sunshine: Are you with him now??  
> GettingBi: no but im stalking his social media  
> Sunshine: Ah, understandable.  
> GettingBi: have a nice day

**-Saturday the 22rd of December-**

 

**GettingBi > Sunshine**

 

**GettingBi:** hey hunk,,

**Sunshine:** Yes?

**GettingBi:** help me

**GettingBi:** pls

**Sunshine:** What’s up?

**GettingBi:** the sky but i need help hunk pls help me

**Sunshine:** Let me rephrase that, whats wrong? Why do you need help?

**GettingBi:** my crush is worse than i thought

**Sunshine:** Are you with him now??

**GettingBi:** no but im stalking his social media

**Sunshine:** Ah, understandable.

**GettingBi:** have a nice day

**GettingBi:** but can i rant to you about him

**GettingBi:** and please dont tell anyone

**GettingBi:** please??

**Sunshine:** Of course you can rant to me! And if you don’t want me to tell anyone, I won’t. I promise!!

**GettingBi:** thank you hunk <3

**GettingBi:** but omg i really really like him, like he’s so cute and funny and nice even though he doesnt look like it. his hair looks so soft and i just really want to touch it and ughhh. it suits him so well and its v cute and i love it and i just i want to run by hands through it and thats weird oh my gosh im being creppy arent i???? ughhh 

**Sunshine:** No!! You’re not being creepy!! It’s cute seeing you so in-like with someone :D

**GettingBi:** tysm hunk just for everything ur such a good friend ur so nice i dont deserve to have someone like you as my best friend or in my life at all oifmh tyms hunk uhire amazibg

**Sunshine:** Lance, are you okay???/ 

**GettingBi:** yies im goud imn perfectlu okkay 

**Sunshine:** Lance!! :c I know you’re not!

**GettingBi:** im fine

**Sunshine:** Are you sure?

**GettingBi:** no

**Sunshine:** Lance, you deserve anything and everything, don’t doubt yourself!! I’m so lucky to have /you/! I want to see you happy, real happy and not fake happy. I want to know when you don’t feel good, I don’t want you to hide it. We both know that it doesn’t help or make anything better. And don’t pretend to be happy and alright just because of this and you want me to happy, be happy when you actually are happy and be happy for yourself not anyone else! This person, whoever they are, seems to make you happy and that’s wonderful and if they don’t like you back then they aren’t deserving of your feelings but I’m sure they do like you back because you’re so loveable! Even if they didn’t share your romantic feelings, if they do really make you happy you could stay friends with them! I’m sure they would want you to be genuinely happy too and if they don’t or don’t care then they’re wrong! <3

**GettingBi:** <3

**GettingBi:** thank you so much hunk 

**Sunshine:** You are so welcome!!!!!

 

**-Groupchat “The KICK Mission”**

 

**AgentHunk:** Lance was talking to me about his crush and asked me not to tell anyone and I have to stay true my word, sorry x

**AgentPidge:** thats fine hunk x

**AgentMatt:** mission failed, we’ll get em next time

**AgentAllura:** That’s completely understandable, Hunk! Thanks for keeping your promise on behalf of Lance!

**AgentShay:** Good on you Hunk!!!!!

**AgentHunk:** xox

 

**aliteralgoddess > razzledazzle**

 

**aliteralgoddess:** lanceeeeeeeee

**razzledazzle:** whattttttttt

**aliteralgoddess:** Hunk told me a couple days ago that you had a crush on someone but just before told me that you told him not to tell anyone so I want you to give me the tea yourself :)

**razzledazzle:** once you ask nyma out

**aliteralgoddess:** But she’s dating someone and she’s probs straight

**razzledazzle:** she is? Who?

**aliteralgoddess:** I think his name his Rollo

**razzledazzle:** oh yh him

**aliteralgoddess:** Well since I can’t ask her out, you just have to tell me about your crush!!

**razzledazzle:** r00d

**razzledazzle:** lol k 

**aliteralgoddess:** yay!!!

**razzledazzle:** yh rite

**aliteralgoddess:** :o

**razzledazzle:** allura ill tell you once im ready

**aliteralgoddess:** sorry :c thank you though

**razzledazzle:** but if i do ever plan on asking them out or i do and they say yes, you and hunk will be the first to now <3

**aliteralgoddess:** <3 thank you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hunks lil message goes to all of y'all as well <3


	10. Are you apart of the Yeehaw Cult™? If not, join now today! At www.yeehawcult.org!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BestBi: it was so sad
> 
> BestBi: alexa was playing despacito
> 
> BestBi: and i wasnt paying attention to class

**-Groupchat “The Squad”**

 

**Members in the chat:**

**BestBi - Online**

**BeautifulCinnamonRoll - Offline**

**Gremlin - Offline**

**ParentalUnit - Online**

**PrincessAllura -** **Offline**

**Keefie - Online**

**MatheMattics - Offline**

**Shay - Offline**

 

**BestBi:** i need a little fabulous is that so wrong

**Keefers:** yes

**Keefers** yes it is

**BestBi:** :O

**BestBi:** :(

**BestBi:** i swear the next thing youll be telling me is youve never had a crush on zac efron/troy bolton ;c

**Keefers:** :) about that i never did so ((((:

**BestBi:** wha

**BestBi:** hOW

**ParentalUnit:** That’s a lie and you know it, Keith.

**Keefers:** sHiRo dONt YOu daRe

**BestBi:** spill the tea dad

**ParentalUnit:** Keith had huge crushes on Troy and Ryan from HSM

**Keefers:** LIES

**BestBi:** lol same dont be embarrassed keefie 

**Keefers:** lance

**BestBi:** yes owo

**Keefers:** shut up

**BestBi:** >:(

**BestBi** has changed  **Keefers** ’s name to  **Keefie** .

**Keefie:** i srsly hate u

**BestBi:** ik u love me ((;

**Keefie:** r u sure about that

**BestBi:** anyway dad give me more embarrassing keef tea pls

**Keefie:** shiro no

**ParentalUnit:** I really shouldn’t, you know… (:

**Keefie:** yEAh yoU ShoULdnT

**ParentalUnit:** But for my favourite son, sure (:

**Keefie:** wHaT DiD i EvEr Do To yOu

**BestBi:** aww xoxo luv u 2 dad

**Keefie:** ok  but we all know hunk is ur favourite shiro

**BestBi:** i would be upset but its hunk so i rlly cant

**ParentalUnit:** Keith, you told everyone about Matt and me before we wanted to.

**Keefie:** oh yeah that happened

**ParentalUnit:** But anyway

**Keefie** has changed  **ParentalUnit** ’s name to  **Shir-no** .

**Shir-no:** You most likely already know this, Lance. But Keith has said that he will find Mothman and when he does, he will marry him.

**BestBi:** lmao i rlly shouldve guessed wow

**BestBi:** and when he does, not ‘if’, ‘when’ love that what a m00d

**BestBi:** but lowkey offended 

**BestBi:** i thought we were going to get married keef >:( u lied to me 

**Gremlin** is online.

**BeautifulCinnamonRoll** is online.

**Gremlin:** owo

**BeautifulCinnamonRoll:** uwu

**PrincessAllura** is online.

**PrincessAllura:** uwu whats this owo

**Keefie:** im not good enough 4 mothman so he’ll probs reject me, ur my backup lance

**BestBi:** understandable have a nice day

**MatheMattics** is online.

**MatheMattics:** owo what’s this?

**MatheMattics:** unu i was 2 late 

**MatheMattics:** u right keef u dont deserve mothman

**Keefie:** neither do u

**Gremlin:** lol u nerds no 1 is deserving of mothman

**Keefie:** ur right

**MatheMattics:** u right

**Gremlin:** i’m always right (:

**MatheMattics:** shut up pidge

**BeautifulCinnamonRoll:** Okay, but when were these wedding plans made and why didn’t I know? And just why in general, tbh

**BestBi:** it was supposed 2 be secret

**Shay:** Are Lance and Keith actually together now or they messing about? If so, I ship it sm!! If not which is probably correct, I still ship it uwu

**Keefie:** uh

**BestBi:** uh

**Shay:** Yeah I’ll take that as a no then

**PrincessAllura:** theyre like chad and ryan from hsm and disney wouldn't let it happen

**PrincessAllura:** i think thats the case anyway lol

**Shay:** omg yes but who’s who

**PrincessAllura:** well in my opinion chad is v bi and ryan is v gay so like yh but keef probs doesnt dance so hes chad and lance is ryan

**PrincessAllura:** and i claim being sharpie

**Gremlin:** lol and keef used to have a crush on ryan ((;

**Keefie:** ur implying lance is better than me

**Keefie:** which is probably right but

**Keefie:** ur also implying taht im nothing without lance which is v mean ): thats bullying heck off

**BestBi:** did u just swear in my good wholesome pure christian mminecraft server

**Keefie:** yes

**BestBi:** guys the wedding plans r canceled.

**PrincessAllura:** okay but hsm au for us 

**PrincessAllura:** my opinion is: lance = troy keef = gabriella hunk = zeke or chad and if we go by the hsm canon then shay can be taylor but like if gabriella is keef i think pidge should be taylor so yk hunk will be zeke which is like all chill yk but like none of us rlly fit into any of the characters :(

 

**-**

**Members in the chat:**

**BestBi - Online**

**BeautifulCinnamonRoll - Offline**

**Gremlin - Offline**

**Shir-no - Offline**

**PrincessAllura -** **Online**

**Keefie - Offline**

**MatheMattics - Offline**

**Shay - Offline**

  
  


**BestBi:** i was looking outside the window during class and i saw 2 seagulls (or just gulls bc it aint near the sea) and they were liking fighting and like i have an announcement to make stahpo bullkying but then this psarrow caem akibg and they oth ganged up on  the sparrow and like r00d

**BestBi:** it was so sad

**BestBi:** alexa was playing despacito

**BestBi:** and i wasnt paying attention to class

**PrincessAllura:** schOOL HAS ONLY JUST STARTED FOR THE YEAR LANCE PLS PAY ATTENTION

**BestBi:** yes ma’am

**PrincessAllura:** Those seagulls are my brethren.

**PrincessAllura** has changed  **PrincessAllura** ’s name to  **SeagullGoddess** .

**BestBi:** omg i love it

**Keefie is online.**

**BestBi:** Are you apart of the Yeehaw Cult™? If not, join now today! At www.yeehawcult.org!

**SeagullGoddess:** nonono, it’d be a free wix site

**SeagullGoddess:** give me a random name

**BestBi:** twentyonewhales

**BestBi:** wait no

**BestBi:** twentyonenarwhales

**BestBi:** sea unicorns uwu

**SeagullGoddess:** that’s not how you spell narwhals but ok

**SeagullGoddess:** https://twentyonenarwhales.wixsite.com/website

**Keefie is offline.**

**BestBi** has renamed  **The Squad** to  **yeehaw cult** .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm related to a cowboy so it's not cultural appropriation  
> rite?


End file.
